The (W)Right Race

With friends like these, who needs enemies??

Here is the problem for us all: McCain is a political idiot who will carry forward the Shrub's policy disasters. This is despite his strong personal integrity.

To Obama: you are probably the Dem nominee, but you have a fatal flaw: you seem unable to connect with most real Americans. Race, elite education, apparent discomfort around average people - whatever the cause, you need to correct the impression so McCain does not win.

Here's how: you are a constitutional scholar, so talk about how great the Constitution is, what geniuses were the framers. Piece of cake.

Talk about how you love the country - at every forum. Swallow the criticisms for a time and kiss the Statue of Liberty metaphorically.

Treat your reverend like a deep pile of sewage - there may be something at the bottom, but you don't want to find out.

Play one-on-one with a Chicago Bull. Laugh while you lose your shorts.

Go to Cubs games, sit in the bleachers and drink a beer. Boo the umpires.

Enjoy the perks, for God's sake.

Talk about who is better: Jefferson/Adams/Washington or Lincoln/FDR/Teddy R.

Talk about the American idea and what it means to you - just like a friggin' middle school essay. Won't kill you.

You can NOT rely on policy to get you out of this.

We all need you to get this, or we are in deep.