Po Banks Dyin

Hey Barry

I kinda hate to rag on banks cuz they're seriously 'challenged', but, Barry, its getting jes comical. Where is George Carlin an Mort Sahl when ya needs em? Gettin to be a real comedy show.

So looky banks, ya'll can't make money at 15%, so ya ups it to 30%. An nobody says nuthin.

Read it here: http://www.nytimes.com/2009/11/10/your-money/credit-and-debit-cards/10rates.html

Cris almity, whas wrong with you, anyways?

Alreddy, ya'll don do but 30% of the loan biz cuz ya'll too busy selling phony stocks and now ya'll raisin interest to 'vigorish' rates jes like the ol mob.

Whas nex - torpedoes who break ya fingers if'n ya late?

So, Barry, give the news to Timmy and Benny: banks is dyin. Gotta find sumthin else to help the conomy, cuz banks got nuthin. Too late for regs ta help; gotta find sumthin totally new.


Your pal,

Dead Banks

Hey Barry

We not locked to banks ta get money, ya know.

Ya'll can scoot the pin stripes any number ways.

Read it here:

http://www.northbaybusinessjournal.com/16385/non-bank-lenders-gain-market-share/

Timmy's onliest trouble is, it messes up the FED and their money policy.

Do we care?

So, looky here banks, ya'll dinosaurs - dead an don know it.

Be still now - won hurt a bit.

Your pal,

Conomy!

Hey Barry:

Ya'll doin lotta good an I'm a big fan.

Luv it that ya caps the execs pay and takes on the surance and bank weasels.

Don fuggit the Golden Sox rule: bankers cannot make loans and sell insurance and stocks at the same time. 'S like they's retarded or sumthin. Dunno why - it just is.

Anyways, here we is - we spent all the borrowed, an now what to do.

We all hurtin bout no jobs - so where we goin Barry? Where is we goin?

Couple things Barry. Real easy to sit here and criticize, I knows, but don gripe Barry. Ya'll wanted the job.

Problem is ain't nobody buyin nothin. An, whatever we buy comes from China cause it's cheaper.

Somehow we gotta get mo money to folks like me. An, they is only two ways to do that, Barry.

Ain't rocket science.

Numba One: raise wages. Duh. Let unions organize an folks strike for more money. Gotta do it.

Numba Two: Gotta protek the business that pays the wages from the Chinks. Duh number two. I knows they is lotta money in 'Free Trade' crap, but Barry, we got no jobs.

Was mo portant? Jobs, or 18th century theory?

Make a decision Barry, we countin on ya.

Your pal,

Sick Surance

OK, Barry.

Ya calls out the liars on the video here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=76GwwCZrv2A&feature=player_embedded

But, Barry, ya do it in general.

Ya got the facts - call 'em out by name. Say their names out loud and give 'em the shame.

The fight is dirty cuz there's lots of money.

Go head, get dirty Barry, ya gotta do it.

Your pal

Ghanistan

OK Barry.

You free here.

No politics - poll says third of us want out, third of us want in and the last third don know what the eff.

Don need me to tell ya: it's about your girls Barry.

Do whas right, screw the politics.

Your pal,

Die Sucka - Quick

Holy Cow Barry.

Now the GOPPERS feel dissed.

Goes around, comes around.

Alan Grayson D-Fla, says the GOP health plan is that ya gotta die quick if'n ya get sick.

Read it here: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2009/10/01/MN8419V8DF.DTL

And the GOPPERS are pi--ed. Never mind that 45,000 folks each year die cause they got no medical.

The righteous GOP is dissed - what an effin calamity.

Mebbe they'll suck their thumbs.

Your pal

Save Your House - Throw Furniture at Bankers

Hey Barry,

Here's where we at: If you wanna save your house, ya gotta throw sumthin at a banker; or, ya can meet with the guys who did that for you.

They'll help ya out when no one else can. Here's the story: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2009/09/28/MN7819S899.DTL

OK Barry, this is real close to violence. But that's what it takes.

Positively depressin.

This here's the good ol USA. We supposed to be better than that. But, we ain't.

Your pal

Barry's Banker Speech

Hey Barry -

Caught your talk on youtube. Covered lotta things and they sound good.

Couple things:

1. You so nice.

Been me, I woulda been real unpolite.

Ya said lotta stuff, but here's the thing, Barry: ya gotta mean it and ya gotta follow through.

Them weasels will dance and burrow around and underneath - gotta watch em like a hawk.

2. Serious now, I read some bout banks and history. There's one thing that you don't talk bout.

And, Barry, I'ma tellin you all it is the heart of the issue and the future of the good ol USA.

Here it is Barry:

BANKERS CAN NOT MAKE LOANS AND DO OTHER BUSINESS AT THE SAME TIME.

Jeez, Barry, we know this.

If'n your bills don't tear apart loans from insurance and stock manipulation and put them into a separate business, we's all doomed.

Ya gotta take care of that Barry, we countin on ya.

Your pal

Eat Bacon, Live Forever

Hey Barry:

Enuf crap bout them weasel bankers for while - makes me sick anyways.

Read bout the oldest living woman who just died at 115: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2009/09/11/national/a082657D42.DTL

She ate bacon, fried chicken and ice cream.

Screw the docs - live forever!!

Your pal

Gang Bangin Bankers

Hey Barry;

Riddle me this: what's the difference between a protection racket like the MS13 and the big US banks?

Not a trick question Barry

Seems the only difference is that the Feds - thas you an Timmy - got the bankers back.

Bad enough bankers make bets they win if you die sooner - sounds like a motive for murder to me - now they's charging folks 120% to borrow.

Read it here: http://www.scrippsnews.com/node/46815

What the hell Barry.

Seems we's sold out lock, stock and barrel to the crooks in flannel.

Makes ya wanna puke.

Your pal,

Die Sucka

Holy Cow Barry.

Now the bankers are selling bonds that bet on how soon you will die.

If'n you die sooner they make more money - if'n you live a long time they lose money.

I am not making this up - it's in the effin new York Times: http://www.nytimes.com/2009/09/06/business/06insurance.html

Sumbitch, Barry, we here got real issues with these bastards.

Your pal,

Health Care in Japan

Hey Barry,

The folks in Japan get better care for less than we do, and the whole country is so broke they just threw out their government. Read about it here:

http://www.sfgate.com/columnists/carroll/

And, get this, health care is not making them broke.

I heard somewhere's that 20,00 folks a year die in the the good ol USA because they don't get to a doctor.

What the hell, Barry.

If I don't get a job soon, mebbe I'll move to Japan or Canada where folks live longer and have better health care.

If I'm gonna be broke, I'd jes as soon be healthy as sick, even if I don't speak the language.

Your pal

I Got Mine, So Eff You

Hey Barry

Its yo relaxing time and all, sorry bout the needle.

But, ya knows that we elected you all cuz you gonna make us be better than we been, right.

So now's the time to bring out the 'we is better than that' big gun.

I think it was good ol Tom Jefferson who said sumthin bout the constitution needing a population with morals to work right.

Well, we can't hardly talk bout religion or morals these days, but Barry thas really why you all is there.

So, lay it on us Barry - we ready.

Your pal

Effin Bankers

Looky here banks: you is the giftee of a whole lot of my money and the PRIVILEGE to act in my interest in lending out money so's the conomy keeps rollin.

C'mon Barry - them bankers don do right, take away their game. Take em over and kick out the bastards.

My offer stands: I'll run any bank in the country for $30K. Can't do no worse then them guys.

See my man JonCarroll: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2009/08/17/DDKL198A8L.DTL

Your pal

Dyin for Co Cola

Hey, Barry

We all too fat an we're dyin, right.

So les fix it.

Real simple to do: jest put a tax on sugar.

Here's the link:
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2009/08/16/MNF61951C0.DTL

Trouble is, Co Cola and all them lobby gainst it. They happy we fat and sick.

Whatcha gonna do. Barry?

Your pal

Patriotic Rich Guys!

Hey Barry,

There are actually some rich guys who want to pay more taxes!

Land O' Goshen!

They even have a web site: http://wealthforcommongood.org/

Wonders will never cease, huh Barry.

Your pal,

Healthcare - 2

Hey Barry, the insurance is literally killin us. 100,000 folks a year die from mistakes in hospitals and the insurance lobby won't even let us talk about it. Thas as many as die in car wrecks, Barry.

You can read it here: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2009/08/09/MNN9191UIJ.DTL

What the hell, Barry.

Here's a plan for rallies bout health: at every rally there are two folks with a dead relative or big injury caused by the insurance. They each gets five minutes at the front.

Then the free market Nazis can rant all they want. Aint nobody gonna listen to em after that.

Your pal,

Stackin Up

So, Barry, you's all dyin to know how you stack up in the popularity polls conducted by yours truly, right?

What I did was to make a you tube video in two parts bout the conomy. Then, I posted it with three different titles: from me, as an answer to Ron Paul and about you - Obama.

Same videos, three different titles.

Naturally I comes in dead last, by a lot: total views 77 with a five star rating.

But, Barry, you's in second - behind Ron Paul by a lot. Holy cow.

Anyways, you totals 114 views with a five star rating.

Ron Paul, well he scores 524 views with a two star rating.

Them econs of yours better git on the ball Barry, we can't have you trailing Ron Paul. That's jes horrible. Ya gotta get some traction on the conomy. We needs it.

Your pal,

Healthcare

Hey Barry

Bet ya'll worn out from the folks gripin bout them 'po insurances'.

Member them ol newsreels of Hitler youth ya sees on the history channel? Man, all them folks was down with good ol Adolf.

The righty's are like that - 'mind is made up, don't confuse me with facts'. Free markets will fix everything.

Well, thas jes what gave us the bank weasels, and now it's givin us the insurance weasels.

How bout we jes drop insurance althogther and let docs work for the government. Sure as hell be cheaper that way.

I guess ya gotta leave the rabid rightys alone and talk to rational folks with facts.

Keep pushin on it, we gotta get sumthin here, or all my money goes to insurance weasels stead of my sickness.

We loves ya Barry.

Your pal

Clunkers

Hey Barry

Ya'll knows I loves ya and all. but this here clunker thing is exactly whas wrong with us.

Looky, we're in the car biz - we own GM, right? - an now you're after more money from me as a taxpayer for the clunkers so's more folks will be buyin our cars.

It's effin dangerous, thas what.

Jes the same as Hell-burton having Darth Cheney in the White House: 'Course we gotta war on Iraq - my buddies need some biz.'

Holy cow, Barry, get them econs of yours on this, or we're down the drain.

Mind, I ain't sayin it's wrong right now, we jes gotta fix it quick, thas all.

Your pal,

Barney's Bill

Hey Barry:

Barney says we gotta get a consumer protection bill so's them banker weasels won't screw us over. Now, them's my words, not his.

Anyways, I think its H.R.627
Credit Cardholders' Bill of Rights Act of 2009 (Engrossed as Agreed to or Passed by House). http://thomas.loc.gov/cgi-bin/query/D?c111:3:./temp/~c111B1x6Qi::

So, les push on it, Barry.

Need all the help we can get, here.

Your pal,

Limey Econs Apologize

Hey Barry:

Bunch of Limey econs apologized to the Queen for failing to predict the mess.

Read it here: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2009/07/26/international/i063148D68.DTL

So, where's our econs Barry?

OK, they were all Bushies anyways and not about to own up to any bad.

So here's the thing. It's gonna happen again UNLESS we make a plan to make predictions.

An thas what I' doin' Barry - I'm settin up a plan. Workin on a grant right now. See what happens.

Call me anytime Barry, happy to give you credit.

Your pal.

Benny's On It

Hey Barry:

Bernanke's workin the problem OK - les just hope the bankers don't steal it all first.

see it here: http://www.federalreserve.gov/newsevents/testimony/bernanke20090724a.htm

Your pal

Slippery Bankers

Hey Barry

Man, I told you them bankers is weaselly. Them Golden Sox folks want millions in bonuses.

Like I say, people in hell want ice water, but it ain't gonna happen.

Clamp on em, listen to Barney Frank an good ol Timmy. Timmy, he's gonna be OK.

Anyways, I thinks the new law is this one: H. R. 851 - To establish executive compensation and corporate governance requirements for institutions receiving assistance under the Troubled Assets Relief Program.

If thas it, go ahead an push on it for us.

Thanks, Barry


your pal,

Drainin the Swamp

Hey Barry -

Once I read a coffee cup about real estate, makes sense for you bout now.

'Remember when you're up to your ass in alligators that your goal was to drain the swamp'

Keep on draining that swamp, Barry, we loves ya.

Russia - ya takes the steam outta the talk in Moscow. Keep it up with lotsa committee's, hard to stay pi--ed when you gotta go to a meetin in 2 hours

Muslims, Africa - ya tells it like it is, made things better. Thass the good ol' USA - no BS from here.

Sicko - I'm not real happy bout the insurance cuz it don't actually do nuthin good, so keep on the federal insurance program. We gotta get sumthin outa this, Barry.

Banks ! - Ya gotta keep drivin it, Barry; them bankers are slippery and ya can't let em get away again.

'conomy - ya right, it's gonna take some time, but Barry, them econs of yours ain't said doodly bout what's next. Whassup when the stimulus is done and we still don't got nobody buyin stuff?

'ghanistan - take to 'em Barry, take it to 'em.

Paki's - ya gotta stay on 'em bout the nukes and the talis. no choice but to make that place work right.

Worried bout you Barry - ya already got some grey showin an its only been 6 months. We needs ya, so take care of youself.

your pal

Look Ahead

Hey Barry -

Here's an idea about economics: think ahead.

Wow, that's what my videos are about.

Now Bill Dudley's gonna say the same thing.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/07/03/AR2009070302584.html

At least sumbody's watchin'.

Now, Barry, all's ya gotta do is set up a group to make that a systematic program and let me run it or at least work in it, an we're there. If'n ya don't let me help out, I'm just gonna do it myself.

Here's my video links - thanks for watchin.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0IoQXhuvE-U [video, part 1]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4yWF3WtUDoA [video, part 2]

http://www.mkeever.com/dodgingdisasters.html [scripts]

How about it Barry, let me help you out.

your pal,

Fixin the FED

Hey Barry,

Lotta folks wanna fix the bank mess by changin the FED. Don't know about that. Don't think you can fix the mess by just changin the FED.

Ya gotta shine light on the whole system, not just the darkest corner; otherwise ya just chase them roaches around the room.

Anyways, I give the bill [Federal Reserve Transparency Act of 2009 (Introduced in House) HR 1207 IH] a big thumbs down.

So, about my videos.

Wow.

Change the title to something bout Ron Paul and they take off like rockets.

So Barry, you gets even bigger numbers, so's I'm gonna change the titles to sumthin bout you.

Don't take it personal. And, don't worry, it'll be clean.

Still love ya,

Your pal,

Sneakin Fame

Hey Barry,

OK, so's my videos are getting nowhere fast.

I checked it out and Ron Paul videos get nine hunnert thousand views each, and he doesn't say anything at all. I mean, nothing.

Lemme in on that, so's I called mine an answer to Ron Paul and added some titles.

Catch a star - hell ya.

Here's the links - thanks for watchin.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0IoQXhuvE-U [video, part 1]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4yWF3WtUDoA [video, part 2]

http://www.mkeever.com/dodgingdisasters.html [scripts]

I'll let ya know if it works.

Your pal,

Laws and All

OK, Barry, you safe from me.

Here I am tryin to save the world an all - only nobody's watchin.

Hell ya gonna do?

Imagine iffn ya has real power and nobody's watchin.

Scary, thas what.

Mebbe I'll just go ahead and make some gripes about the new laws ya'll on about, instead of bein famous. Why not, why the hell not.

Here's one now that sounds real good, just lookin at the title.:

'Financial Transparency Restoration Act (Introduced in House), HR 2727 IH. To provide for the implementation of a system under which each financial institution will report on the financial condition of the institution to the public, and for other purposes.'

Seems this was there before until deep sixed by congress in 1994. Seems like it's shinin' some light on them bankers - Lord knows we needs that.

Here's another one that sounds good, from McCain fer Chrissakes:

'Department of Defense Financial Accountability Act of 2009 (Introduced in Senate) S 1287 IS - To provide for the audit of financial statements of the Department of Defense for fiscal year 2017 and fiscal years thereafter, and for other purposes.'

This'n here should go without sayin, crime that we gotta make a law. Keep track of the bombs and all, jeez - oughta be a no brainer.

Now here's one that just confuses me [now don' you go sayin 'well, doh']:

'Administrative Support and Oversight for Community Financial Institutions Act of 2009 (Introduced in House) HR 2676 IH, To amend chapter 3 of title 31, United States Code, to provide for an Assistant Secretary of the Treasury for Community Financial Institutions and an Office of Ombudsman for Community Financial Institutions, and for other purposes.'

Jes don' get that one at all.

Keep up the good work, we needs ya up there.

your pal,

You Tubing

Watch out Barry,

I'm comin after ya.

Made me couple videos, bad lighting, serious nerves, poor resolution and all that, but ya got competition Barry.

Ya gotta be famous to get traction, so here they go. Here's the links if ya promise not to laugh too loud:

Economics 2.0, Dodging Disasters, Part 1

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z0m6TlmOISM

Economics 2.0, Dodging Disasters, Part 2

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7jsTVZemKSA

Here is a link to the video scripts:

http://www.mkeever.com/dodgingdisasters.html

Your pal,

Who's Gonna Make the Loans?

Hey Barry:

So your banker plan leaves them guys with lending, selling stocks and insurance.

OK, I hears you put in a strict regulation that they have to prove they won't go belly up.

But, here's the thing: Who's gonna make loans?

Met a laid off banker veep the other day. Wanna know how she pays the rent now?

She sells partnerships in commercial real estate loans. That's right, she makes the loans the bankers are too busy to make.

We need the loans and we want you to regulate them. But, how's that gonna happen if bankers are too busy with insurance and stocks to diddle with loans?

Am I gonna have to set up a deal with three doctors and a drug dealer to buy a five year old Honda? What the hell.

It's a real question Barry - take a look.

Your pal,

Banks on Fire

Hey Barry:

Good on ya for the bank plan. Here's the link: http://online.wsj.com/public/resources/documents/reform.pdf

Man, I thought it was never gonna get here.

Couple things, though.

First off, ya gonna want the guys who buy bank stocks watching them banks like hawks. But, Barry, ya got no disclosures in your plan.

Right now, them bankers are like vampires - they only show up in the dark. Ain't good enuf, Barry. Ya gotta shine the lights.

AND, ya gotta watch them bank lobbyists in DC - they'll gut your plans if you let 'em. So, keep on it Barry, or else we'll be here again in couple years.

Don't give an inch - ya gotta be in front drivin on this one. Ya can't just sit in the back seat.

We're countin on ya.

Your pal,

The private health industry's time is up

Hey Barry:

Even the Christian Science Monitor supports single payer!

Holy Climolis!

Here's the link: http://www.csmonitor.com/2009/0616/p09s01-coop.html

Bout time we do it the right way.

Whattya say, Barry?

Your pal,

Stuck With Insurance

Hey Barry:

Guy says we spend here 50% more than world averages on health care and don't get squat for it.

Where does the 50% go?

Insurance.

Guess we're stuck with 'em.

Sucks.

But at least we get a government option, right Barry?

Your pal

Talk To The Terrorists - It Works

Hey Barry:

So here's an expert who says that we should talk to the terrorists.

What an idea. You were right all along.

His name is John Arquilla and he works for the Navy.

Read it here:

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2009/06/02/EDH517TKBD.DTL

Your pal

Please, Don't Kill Me - Health Insurance

Hey Barry:

So exactly how does insurance make us better, Barry?

It's a big question because nobody likes insurance companies 'cept some of the crooked ones in Congress.

I goes to the doc and I waits while they checks my card - if I'm lucky enuf to have one - then I fill out a bunch of forms that don't do anything cept cover the insurance's ass, then tell the doc my problem and he says he'll let me know if the insurance will cover it or whether I should go to the ER.

Total time in office one hour, total time with doc, 180 seconds.

If its the ER, we're talkin four to eight hour wait for 180 seconds with the doc.

What the hell is that? It ain't workin, Barry. It just ain't workin.

But, you already know that, right?

Everybody in the country wants single payer, Barry, cept you and the insurance. Even most of the docs want it.

I gotta think ya really want it Barry.

So, are you afraid or are you just waitin?

Ya gotta do this one Barry, ya gotta do this one. Single payer. This is why you're there.

Your pal

Better Society: $25

Wow.

A new San Francisco program improves families' lives for $25 a pop.

Read it to believe it: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2009/05/21/MN0J17O5RJ.DTL&hw=newsom&sn=006&sc=515

Guns and Credit Cards

Hey Barry,

What the hell is wrong with them gun guys in DC anyways?

We both know that some folks is gonna die in the parks this summer. Why do ya go to parks anyway? Ya go to get drunk and stoned - ain't nothing else to do. That's the point, ain't it?

So now some of those effin idiots will have a loaded 45 or AK in the tent. Wonnerful.

Might as well stay home with the gang bangers shootin up the town every night. No point in drivin all day to get shot at - do that at home.

Here's a proposition: give me one of the folks who pushed this law and I'll put him in a car in the hood at night with all the guns he wants. See if he's there in the morning.

Anyways, I can dream.

Good deal on the credit cards, even it it costs a life or two. It's worth it. The life's on the banks, anyways.

Your pal

After Them Banks

Hey Barry:

Good on ya. Some moves on the banks, I read and I like.

Bernanke ups the ante on control - that's good.

Geithner goes after derivatives - that's good even tho Congress has to step up.

But, but...we want a better system Barry.

Think about it - bankers just cannot run investments, Barry. Even you said it: repeating the same action and expecting different results is INSANE.

So, Barry, let's get off the nut express and separate loans from gamblers. Don't know about you, but I don't want my little cash stash managed by gamblers and junkies. A little help here Barry.

Your pal.

Too Big To Fail - ??

So Barry, I hears lot of gum flappin on the idea that some of them banks are just too big to let go. Well, if some of them banks are too big, then some of the car makers are too big, too. And if they are too big, then what about my cousin's rib joint? Why he's got 100 chairs in that sucker. Course, it's in Detroit, so mebbe he's a goner. No saving cousin Phil, huh Barry?

So riddle me this Barry - just exactly what are the rules about too big to fail, anyway? Where can I read them?

Is it who I know? Or, my skin color? Or, who I pray to??

And, anyway, why not just let them fail, Barry? Sell off the good parts and deep six the bad and there ya go. Been done before.

But, Barry, here's the question: What about the ol' US of A? Are we too big to fail, Barry? What about us?

See, what I'm lookin at is the idea that us workers don't have enuf money to buy shit. We were borrowing, but the payback to them good ol banks runs 30% a year. Screw that.

But, Barry, even I know that if guys like me don't buy stuff, we all done. And, well Barry, I'm damned if I'm goin into hock at 30% any more.

And, Barry, our national credit card to pay for the stimulus, well it's there, ain't it? And it will take a lot of growth to get out of it. Now, growth - it sure as hell ain't comin from me.

So Barry, there's the question: Where in the hell is all this growth comin from?

The only answer I hears is that ya gotta raise all our wages so's we can buy stuff without borrowing at no 30%

Cause, if we don't do that, even the good ol' US of A ain't too big to fail.

Your pal,