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Estimate of the time that Humanity will go extinct or civilization will collapse. The HUMANITY DOOMSDAY CLOCK moves forward to 2125 due to US President trump's abandonment of climate change goals. Apologies to Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists for using the name.


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Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Chrissy, Chrissy

Hey Barry

Ya know I hates ta rag on a girl, but I reckon she's out there speaking for ya'll, and so it's gotta be fair game.

Looks like she said some things bout jobs an all.

Ya can read it here:

Well, is all good that ya'll lookin at the problem, but Holy Cow - what the heck, anyways?

I is well concerned bout jobs cuz I needs one, so I pays attention to folks talking bout a job for me.

So Ima readin along in Chrissy's piece an Ima getting worried cuz I don see no job for me in there.

So, Chrissy, pay attention here cuz ya'll should know this: business folks don't hire people to save on taxes. They hire people cuz the folks they already got can NOT handle the business they is gettin. Thas when they hire - when they is getting lots and lots of sales and they'll lose a bunch of sales if'n they don get some more people.

And, don fugit that sales come when folks like me has money ta spend. An right now I got no money ta spend.

So, how ya'll gonna get folks like me more money ta spend, thas the question. Taxes is NOT the issue.

An I said it before, ya gots only two ways ta do that:

1. Raise wages - let them unions get organized;

2. Make a tariff on Chinese crap so's we can make our own crap and pay folks here ta make it. [OK, so's a tariff is a tax - it's OK ta call me a liar, but please pay attention]

Chrissy, one more thing, I reads bout econ a little and I always see lots of numbers in econ talk. But, they is zero numbers in your piece an it makes me nervous - don't it make you nervous?

Your pal,

Friday, December 25, 2009

Merry Christmas

Hey Barry,

It's Christmas, so Ima wishin all you an the girls a wonnerful Holiday.

I knows ya'll working real hard to get them bank weasels to make more loans by changing the rules jes a little. An I hope it works, Barry I really hope it works.

Ima bettin gainst it an hopin I lose the bet. Make me happy to lose this.

Good on ya for health care - itsa start and we need more.

Congrats Barry. Ya'll on the right track, keep it up.

Your pal,

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Eat Your Lima Beans, Boy

Hey Barry

This here lil message gonna be bout them banks, but I gotta wander around a little first.

When I was a lil kid I really hated lima beans - made me wanna puke. Kinda like bad fish does today. Yuch.

But my Mom thought them beans was good for me, so she tol me to:

' them beans'.

'But Mom, they make me wanna puke.'

'Too bad boy, eat em anyways.'

So, Barry, now ya'll tellin them bankers they gotta make loans to businesses cause it's good for the country.

Read about here:

Well, it won't kill anyone ifn ya does that, but it ain't gonna help either.

Them bank weasels will only make loans they like - like simple ones with big profits, no work and no risk.

Why's they gonna work hard to make a $50K loan to some small business owned by a Pakistani when they can sell some BS stocks or surance and make lots of money for the same work and more profit?

They won't, an y'all tellin them to eat the lima beans ain't gonna do nuthin. Them small loans make em wanna puke.

But, here's da ting Barry, we gotta have them small loans so's we can have jobs.

And, the onliest way to get them banks ta make loans is for you to fix it so's they can't sell stocks and surance no more.

Cris almity, Barry, we knows that.

Thas what ya gotta do Barry, get them banks out of the stock and surance business an make them eat the lima beans - they sure aint gonna do it jes cause you says so.

Get Timmy and Barney on it. We needs it.

Your pal,

Monday, December 14, 2009


Hey Barry:

Caught you on the telly. Good ta hear we on the same page bout them bank weasels. My job is done there.

Bout the jobs - your ideas won't kill nobody and may make a few jobs. But Barry, we needs, what bout 5 million jobs jes to get ta square one. BLS says they is 6 mm folks wid zero jobs who really, really need a job.

Ya gotta do some politically sensitive thangs Barry. How bout this: sneak a pro union law on the books and when the Reps poop their pants, make a deal that gives em a little tariff.

That way ya kills two birds. And we gets sumthin.

Anyways, ya doin good, don give up.

Your pal,

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Banker's Jes Gettin Worse

Holy Cow, Barry.

Them bank weasels jes keep stickin it to us.

Now, they ain't doin no house refinance for nobody. They got the cash and rates are real cheap - only nobody can get a loan. It'd save lot of us some serious money - mebbe we could buy some more Chinese crap that way.

Read it here:

But no, they is too busy screwin us to bother.

They gonna kill us Barry.

Watch out ya'll don go down in the books as the Prez who killed the country and saved the banks.

Ya know, I'd really hate that.

Your pal,

Thursday, December 10, 2009

No Jobs

Jeez Barry

Ya'd think folks at a job conference would actually want to produce jobs - but all ya got was more BS.

Positively depressin.

OK, Ima double dog dare ya to go where ya gotta go to get jobs:

Numba 1: Raise wages by making unions stronger.

Numba 2: Put on a tariff so's companies here can compete.

Barry - we hurtin here - if'n ya want jobs for us, ya knows what ya gotta do.

If'n ya'll don go there, we's doomed, Barry

Your pal,

Monday, December 7, 2009

Crook Alert

Watch yo back - couple crooks call the house an ask for me by name. Then they try to get some credit card info from me - thas before I tell em to eff off.

I knows they's crooks cuz when I call back I get the disconnected recording.

Anyways, watch out an don be a sucka - here's their phone numbers:

New York 516-488-8552

California 818-727-9306

Your pal,

Friday, December 4, 2009


Teddy, he chased a lot of skirts and drank a lot and got too fat, but he never took no shit from nobody.

He was for us for a long time. Now, there's nobody got our back.

We gonna miss you. But Teddy, it was a great life - you did good.

Thank you.

Your pal

PS: This from August - hadda delete the original to get rid them oriental jokes.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Chinese Writin

Hey all:

Well alrighty then.

Jokes' on me, yup. Seems them Chinese been funnin me - so's Ima takin the Queen's own from now on.

Thas rite - good ol 'merican only from now on.

Your pal

Some Chinese writin soul has been sending me comments on the posting bout Teddy from August 28.

I don read Chinese 'n none of my Chinese readin buddies have the time to translate for me, so's I jes published them all.

Jes hope they are not profane, disrepectful or ads for Viagra.

Your pal,

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Bank Failure - Case Study

Hey Barry:

Ever wonder how them banks go belly up?

Here's a quick read, blow by blow story, make your hair curl.

Your pal,

Saturday, November 28, 2009

Money, Money, Money

Hey Barry:

Hope you and your family had a great Turkey day.

I been thinkin bout couple things.

Numba 1: Please God don let Ron Paul run monetary policy.

Talk bout disaster - guaranteed effin certain to be the end of the Free World in 5 months.

Holy Cow, Barry - cant let dis happen, no how, no way

Numba 2: Poor saps at the B of A Board cant find a CEO.

Don it make ya wanna cry?

But, is OK - I'll do it - be the CEO - any time, jes call me or email me. Ya'll can have me for anyting over $30K per year.

Mebbe if'n I up the price to $300K, I'll get more respect.

Watta ya think Barry? Call Timmy an ask im. Dem guys gotta do sumthin before rigor mortis sets in.

Effin guaranteed to be better than wot those saps have now, which is a minus.

Your pal,

Monday, November 23, 2009

Gotta Read Bout Trade

A brand-new-still-in-the-proofing-stage book on trade tells it like it really is.

No BS, only facts.

Ya gotta read it now, only 15 bucks.

Knocks the socks of dem Free Market/Free Trade Nazis.

From my buddy, Ian Fletcher:

Dear Michael,

I am pleased to announce that pre-publication copies of my new book, Free Trade Doesn’t Work: Why America Needs a Tariff, are now on sale here:

(The pre-publication copies are being sold at cost; it will be $14.95 when it goes on sale on in a few weeks.)

The table of contents is below:

Foreword by Edward Luttwak

Introduction: Why We Can't Trust the Economists


Chapter 1: The Bad Arguments for Free Trade

Chapter 2: Deficits, Time Horizons, and Perverse Efficiency

Chapter 3: Trade Solutions That Won't Work

Chapter 4: Critiques of Free Trade to Avoid


Chapter 5: Ye Olde Theory of Comparative Advantage

Chapter 6: The Deliberately Forgotten History of Trade

Chapter 7: The Negligible Benefits of Free Trade

Chapter 8: The Disingenuous Law and Diplomacy of Free Trade


Chapter 9: Where Does Growth Really Come From?

Chapter 10: The Multiple-Equilibrium Revolution

Chapter 11: The Natural Strategic Tariff

Chapter 12: The End of the Free-Trade Coalition

Best Regards,

Ian Fletcher

Adjunct Fellow

US Business & Industry Council

San Francisco, CA 94104 USA

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Fool Ya Twice

Hey Barry:

Them hedge funds are gonna do it to us again.

Read it here:

They gonna drop you n me down their rat hole and laugh on the plane to Switzerland.

Gotta stop 'em Barry.

Tell Timmy and them to wake up for it too late.

Your pal,

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Rainin in the FED

Hey Barry:

Buncha guys on the Hill want to demonize the FED.

Some's kinda loony, I vote no on HR 833 Ron Paul [nuf said], no on HR 3858, Ms Kaptur, and no on HR 2424, Mr. Kucinich.

Probly OK to audit the FED, depends on what Benny and Timmy say: see S 604, Mr. Sanders and Mr. Watt Amendment of Oct 29, 2009.

Rule is simple - keep the FED independent of politics.

Your pal,

Friday, November 20, 2009

Hu's On First

Hey Barry,

Remember the 'Who's on first?' routine by Abbott and Costello? Ya could look it up here, Good for a laugh.

With Apologies:

"Bud: Hey Lou, I want to tell you about a very good baseball team. It has very good players but they have some Chinese names. Like their first baseman is named Hu. So, Hu's on first....

Lou: Wait a second. Who's on first?

Bud; Exactly...

Lou: Just a minute, I'm askin Who's on first?

Bud: Yes he is.

Lou: For cryin out loud, jes answer the questions: Who's on first.

Bud: I am answering the question, Hu's on first..........."

Well, Barry ya gets the idea.

Point is Hu has a lotta good cards an he aint tellin what he's gonna do.

So, les deal with Hu.

'S like the mob - if'n they kill ya, ya can't pay 'em anymore. So, Hu aint gonna kill us - he need us more than we need him.

But, Barry, here's da ting, we here can't even buy Chinese crap anymore cuz we got no jobs.

Much as we need jobs, Hu needs us to have jobs more than we do.

So, Barry, ya gotta get us some jobs so's we can buy more Chinese crap.

An it gonna mean that ya gotta raise some taxes on Chinese crap so we can make our own crap here - leastways some of us will get jobs from that.

Hu's gonna be upset, but they's nuthin he can do an he knows it.

Your pal,

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Random Thoughts

OK Barry, I knows - random thoughts from yours truly. Whas new wi dat anyways.

Ha, Ha.

Couple things:

Ghanistan - I wuz thinkin how'd I feel if'n bunch of armed goons took over my block. Be so scared I'd do what they say unless I'ma sure they'll be gone quick. Don matter the goons is Tali's or good ol USA - guns is guns. So, make me sure ain't nothin bad gonna happen to my kids, then I'll listen. Can't do that, then get the hell out. Can do that, then make some schools and police an hospitals and roads.

Banks - O mi God..Jes gets worse 'n worse. Them banks is dyin. 'N we gotta make sure they don't screw us over any more. But, bigger thing is: who is gonna make the loans?

We got no system to make loans now and we is dead in the water with zero loans. Banks is only makin 30% of the loans now an is gonna get worse.

Jes make sure whatever you do bout banks covers where the loans actually come from, not just them dinosaur banks.

Jobs - Good on ya for asking them econs of yours bout making more jobs. Member two things - higher wages and protectin the bosses from the Chinks. Your econs don' do that, fire 'em. Don gimme no BS bout training, we needs folks to actually buy stuff fore we talk trainin.

Sick surance - gotta have the gov't plan Barry, thas why you there. If'n we don get the govt plan, we still be havin thousands of folks dyin from no care. And, that aint right.

Do the right thing Barry, we with ya.

Your pal

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Save the System

Hey Barry:

Looks like good ol Frank an Dodd are workin on a law to help out. Seems to take a broad view - an all the Repubs are against it, so it's gotta be good.

Think this is it here: Financial System Stabilization and Reform Act of 2009 (Introduced in House)[H.R.1754.IH]

and here

Financial System Stabilization and Reform Act of 2009 (Introduced in Senate)[S.664.IS]

read it here:

If'n thas it, go head and push on it Barry.

We needs it.

Your pal,

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Po Banks Dyin

Hey Barry

I kinda hate to rag on banks cuz they're seriously 'challenged', but, Barry, its getting jes comical. Where is George Carlin an Mort Sahl when ya needs em? Gettin to be a real comedy show.

So looky banks, ya'll can't make money at 15%, so ya ups it to 30%. An nobody says nuthin.

Read it here:

Cris almity, whas wrong with you, anyways?

Alreddy, ya'll don do but 30% of the loan biz cuz ya'll too busy selling phony stocks and now ya'll raisin interest to 'vigorish' rates jes like the ol mob.

Whas nex - torpedoes who break ya fingers if'n ya late?

So, Barry, give the news to Timmy and Benny: banks is dyin. Gotta find sumthin else to help the conomy, cuz banks got nuthin. Too late for regs ta help; gotta find sumthin totally new.

Your pal,

Monday, November 2, 2009

Dead Banks

Hey Barry

We not locked to banks ta get money, ya know.

Ya'll can scoot the pin stripes any number ways.

Read it here:

Timmy's onliest trouble is, it messes up the FED and their money policy.

Do we care?

So, looky here banks, ya'll dinosaurs - dead an don know it.

Be still now - won hurt a bit.

Your pal,

Monday, October 26, 2009


Hey Barry:

Ya'll doin lotta good an I'm a big fan.

Luv it that ya caps the execs pay and takes on the surance and bank weasels.

Don fuggit the Golden Sox rule: bankers cannot make loans and sell insurance and stocks at the same time. 'S like they's retarded or sumthin. Dunno why - it just is.

Anyways, here we is - we spent all the borrowed, an now what to do.

We all hurtin bout no jobs - so where we goin Barry? Where is we goin?

Couple things Barry. Real easy to sit here and criticize, I knows, but don gripe Barry. Ya'll wanted the job.

Problem is ain't nobody buyin nothin. An, whatever we buy comes from China cause it's cheaper.

Somehow we gotta get mo money to folks like me. An, they is only two ways to do that, Barry.

Ain't rocket science.

Numba One: raise wages. Duh. Let unions organize an folks strike for more money. Gotta do it.

Numba Two: Gotta protek the business that pays the wages from the Chinks. Duh number two. I knows they is lotta money in 'Free Trade' crap, but Barry, we got no jobs.

Was mo portant? Jobs, or 18th century theory?

Make a decision Barry, we countin on ya.

Your pal,

Saturday, October 17, 2009

Sick Surance

OK, Barry.

Ya calls out the liars on the video here:

But, Barry, ya do it in general.

Ya got the facts - call 'em out by name. Say their names out loud and give 'em the shame.

The fight is dirty cuz there's lots of money.

Go head, get dirty Barry, ya gotta do it.

Your pal

Thursday, October 8, 2009


OK Barry.

You free here.

No politics - poll says third of us want out, third of us want in and the last third don know what the eff.

Don need me to tell ya: it's about your girls Barry.

Do whas right, screw the politics.

Your pal,

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Die Sucka - Quick

Holy Cow Barry.

Now the GOPPERS feel dissed.

Goes around, comes around.

Alan Grayson D-Fla, says the GOP health plan is that ya gotta die quick if'n ya get sick.

Read it here:

And the GOPPERS are pi--ed. Never mind that 45,000 folks each year die cause they got no medical.

The righteous GOP is dissed - what an effin calamity.

Mebbe they'll suck their thumbs.

Your pal

Monday, September 28, 2009

Save Your House - Throw Furniture at Bankers

Hey Barry,

Here's where we at: If you wanna save your house, ya gotta throw sumthin at a banker; or, ya can meet with the guys who did that for you.

They'll help ya out when no one else can. Here's the story:

OK Barry, this is real close to violence. But that's what it takes.

Positively depressin.

This here's the good ol USA. We supposed to be better than that. But, we ain't.

Your pal

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Barry's Banker Speech

Hey Barry -

Caught your talk on youtube. Covered lotta things and they sound good.

Couple things:

1. You so nice.

Been me, I woulda been real unpolite.

Ya said lotta stuff, but here's the thing, Barry: ya gotta mean it and ya gotta follow through.

Them weasels will dance and burrow around and underneath - gotta watch em like a hawk.

2. Serious now, I read some bout banks and history. There's one thing that you don't talk bout.

And, Barry, I'ma tellin you all it is the heart of the issue and the future of the good ol USA.

Here it is Barry:


Jeez, Barry, we know this.

If'n your bills don't tear apart loans from insurance and stock manipulation and put them into a separate business, we's all doomed.

Ya gotta take care of that Barry, we countin on ya.

Your pal

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Eat Bacon, Live Forever

Hey Barry:

Enuf crap bout them weasel bankers for while - makes me sick anyways.

Read bout the oldest living woman who just died at 115:

She ate bacon, fried chicken and ice cream.

Screw the docs - live forever!!

Your pal

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Gang Bangin Bankers

Hey Barry;

Riddle me this: what's the difference between a protection racket like the MS13 and the big US banks?

Not a trick question Barry

Seems the only difference is that the Feds - thas you an Timmy - got the bankers back.

Bad enough bankers make bets they win if you die sooner - sounds like a motive for murder to me - now they's charging folks 120% to borrow.

Read it here:

What the hell Barry.

Seems we's sold out lock, stock and barrel to the crooks in flannel.

Makes ya wanna puke.

Your pal,

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Die Sucka

Holy Cow Barry.

Now the bankers are selling bonds that bet on how soon you will die.

If'n you die sooner they make more money - if'n you live a long time they lose money.

I am not making this up - it's in the effin new York Times:

Sumbitch, Barry, we here got real issues with these bastards.

Your pal,

Monday, August 31, 2009

Health Care in Japan

Hey Barry,

The folks in Japan get better care for less than we do, and the whole country is so broke they just threw out their government. Read about it here:

And, get this, health care is not making them broke.

I heard somewhere's that 20,00 folks a year die in the the good ol USA because they don't get to a doctor.

What the hell, Barry.

If I don't get a job soon, mebbe I'll move to Japan or Canada where folks live longer and have better health care.

If I'm gonna be broke, I'd jes as soon be healthy as sick, even if I don't speak the language.

Your pal

Monday, August 24, 2009

I Got Mine, So Eff You

Hey Barry

Its yo relaxing time and all, sorry bout the needle.

But, ya knows that we elected you all cuz you gonna make us be better than we been, right.

So now's the time to bring out the 'we is better than that' big gun.

I think it was good ol Tom Jefferson who said sumthin bout the constitution needing a population with morals to work right.

Well, we can't hardly talk bout religion or morals these days, but Barry thas really why you all is there.

So, lay it on us Barry - we ready.

Your pal

Monday, August 17, 2009

Effin Bankers

Looky here banks: you is the giftee of a whole lot of my money and the PRIVILEGE to act in my interest in lending out money so's the conomy keeps rollin.

C'mon Barry - them bankers don do right, take away their game. Take em over and kick out the bastards.

My offer stands: I'll run any bank in the country for $30K. Can't do no worse then them guys.

See my man JonCarroll:

Your pal

Sunday, August 16, 2009

Dyin for Co Cola

Hey, Barry

We all too fat an we're dyin, right.

So les fix it.

Real simple to do: jest put a tax on sugar.

Here's the link:

Trouble is, Co Cola and all them lobby gainst it. They happy we fat and sick.

Whatcha gonna do. Barry?

Your pal

Sunday, August 9, 2009

Patriotic Rich Guys!

Hey Barry,

There are actually some rich guys who want to pay more taxes!

Land O' Goshen!

They even have a web site:

Wonders will never cease, huh Barry.

Your pal,

Healthcare - 2

Hey Barry, the insurance is literally killin us. 100,000 folks a year die from mistakes in hospitals and the insurance lobby won't even let us talk about it. Thas as many as die in car wrecks, Barry.

You can read it here:

What the hell, Barry.

Here's a plan for rallies bout health: at every rally there are two folks with a dead relative or big injury caused by the insurance. They each gets five minutes at the front.

Then the free market Nazis can rant all they want. Aint nobody gonna listen to em after that.

Your pal,

Stackin Up

So, Barry, you's all dyin to know how you stack up in the popularity polls conducted by yours truly, right?

What I did was to make a you tube video in two parts bout the conomy. Then, I posted it with three different titles: from me, as an answer to Ron Paul and about you - Obama.

Same videos, three different titles.

Naturally I comes in dead last, by a lot: total views 77 with a five star rating.

But, Barry, you's in second - behind Ron Paul by a lot. Holy cow.

Anyways, you totals 114 views with a five star rating.

Ron Paul, well he scores 524 views with a two star rating.

Them econs of yours better git on the ball Barry, we can't have you trailing Ron Paul. That's jes horrible. Ya gotta get some traction on the conomy. We needs it.

Your pal,

Friday, August 7, 2009


Hey Barry

Bet ya'll worn out from the folks gripin bout them 'po insurances'.

Member them ol newsreels of Hitler youth ya sees on the history channel? Man, all them folks was down with good ol Adolf.

The righty's are like that - 'mind is made up, don't confuse me with facts'. Free markets will fix everything.

Well, thas jes what gave us the bank weasels, and now it's givin us the insurance weasels.

How bout we jes drop insurance althogther and let docs work for the government. Sure as hell be cheaper that way.

I guess ya gotta leave the rabid rightys alone and talk to rational folks with facts.

Keep pushin on it, we gotta get sumthin here, or all my money goes to insurance weasels stead of my sickness.

We loves ya Barry.

Your pal

Monday, August 3, 2009


Hey Barry

Ya'll knows I loves ya and all. but this here clunker thing is exactly whas wrong with us.

Looky, we're in the car biz - we own GM, right? - an now you're after more money from me as a taxpayer for the clunkers so's more folks will be buyin our cars.

It's effin dangerous, thas what.

Jes the same as Hell-burton having Darth Cheney in the White House: 'Course we gotta war on Iraq - my buddies need some biz.'

Holy cow, Barry, get them econs of yours on this, or we're down the drain.

Mind, I ain't sayin it's wrong right now, we jes gotta fix it quick, thas all.

Your pal,

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Barney's Bill

Hey Barry:

Barney says we gotta get a consumer protection bill so's them banker weasels won't screw us over. Now, them's my words, not his.

Anyways, I think its H.R.627
Credit Cardholders' Bill of Rights Act of 2009 (Engrossed as Agreed to or Passed by House).

So, les push on it, Barry.

Need all the help we can get, here.

Your pal,

Monday, July 27, 2009

Limey Econs Apologize

Hey Barry:

Bunch of Limey econs apologized to the Queen for failing to predict the mess.

Read it here:

So, where's our econs Barry?

OK, they were all Bushies anyways and not about to own up to any bad.

So here's the thing. It's gonna happen again UNLESS we make a plan to make predictions.

An thas what I' doin' Barry - I'm settin up a plan. Workin on a grant right now. See what happens.

Call me anytime Barry, happy to give you credit.

Your pal.

Friday, July 24, 2009

Benny's On It

Hey Barry:

Bernanke's workin the problem OK - les just hope the bankers don't steal it all first.

see it here:

Your pal

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Slippery Bankers

Hey Barry

Man, I told you them bankers is weaselly. Them Golden Sox folks want millions in bonuses.

Like I say, people in hell want ice water, but it ain't gonna happen.

Clamp on em, listen to Barney Frank an good ol Timmy. Timmy, he's gonna be OK.

Anyways, I thinks the new law is this one: H. R. 851 - To establish executive compensation and corporate governance requirements for institutions receiving assistance under the Troubled Assets Relief Program.

If thas it, go ahead an push on it for us.

Thanks, Barry

your pal,

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Drainin the Swamp

Hey Barry -

Once I read a coffee cup about real estate, makes sense for you bout now.

'Remember when you're up to your ass in alligators that your goal was to drain the swamp'

Keep on draining that swamp, Barry, we loves ya.

Russia - ya takes the steam outta the talk in Moscow. Keep it up with lotsa committee's, hard to stay pi--ed when you gotta go to a meetin in 2 hours

Muslims, Africa - ya tells it like it is, made things better. Thass the good ol' USA - no BS from here.

Sicko - I'm not real happy bout the insurance cuz it don't actually do nuthin good, so keep on the federal insurance program. We gotta get sumthin outa this, Barry.

Banks ! - Ya gotta keep drivin it, Barry; them bankers are slippery and ya can't let em get away again.

'conomy - ya right, it's gonna take some time, but Barry, them econs of yours ain't said doodly bout what's next. Whassup when the stimulus is done and we still don't got nobody buyin stuff?

'ghanistan - take to 'em Barry, take it to 'em.

Paki's - ya gotta stay on 'em bout the nukes and the talis. no choice but to make that place work right.

Worried bout you Barry - ya already got some grey showin an its only been 6 months. We needs ya, so take care of youself.

your pal

Saturday, July 4, 2009

Look Ahead

Hey Barry -

Here's an idea about economics: think ahead.

Wow, that's what my videos are about.

Now Bill Dudley's gonna say the same thing.

At least sumbody's watchin'.

Now, Barry, all's ya gotta do is set up a group to make that a systematic program and let me run it or at least work in it, an we're there. If'n ya don't let me help out, I'm just gonna do it myself.

Here's my video links - thanks for watchin. [video, part 1] [video, part 2] [scripts]

How about it Barry, let me help you out.

your pal,

Friday, July 3, 2009

Fixin the FED

Hey Barry,

Lotta folks wanna fix the bank mess by changin the FED. Don't know about that. Don't think you can fix the mess by just changin the FED.

Ya gotta shine light on the whole system, not just the darkest corner; otherwise ya just chase them roaches around the room.

Anyways, I give the bill [Federal Reserve Transparency Act of 2009 (Introduced in House) HR 1207 IH] a big thumbs down.

So, about my videos.


Change the title to something bout Ron Paul and they take off like rockets.

So Barry, you gets even bigger numbers, so's I'm gonna change the titles to sumthin bout you.

Don't take it personal. And, don't worry, it'll be clean.

Still love ya,

Your pal,

Monday, June 29, 2009

Sneakin Fame

Hey Barry,

OK, so's my videos are getting nowhere fast.

I checked it out and Ron Paul videos get nine hunnert thousand views each, and he doesn't say anything at all. I mean, nothing.

Lemme in on that, so's I called mine an answer to Ron Paul and added some titles.

Catch a star - hell ya.

Here's the links - thanks for watchin. [video, part 1] [video, part 2] [scripts]

I'll let ya know if it works.

Your pal,

Saturday, June 27, 2009

Laws and All

OK, Barry, you safe from me.

Here I am tryin to save the world an all - only nobody's watchin.

Hell ya gonna do?

Imagine iffn ya has real power and nobody's watchin.

Scary, thas what.

Mebbe I'll just go ahead and make some gripes about the new laws ya'll on about, instead of bein famous. Why not, why the hell not.

Here's one now that sounds real good, just lookin at the title.:

'Financial Transparency Restoration Act (Introduced in House), HR 2727 IH. To provide for the implementation of a system under which each financial institution will report on the financial condition of the institution to the public, and for other purposes.'

Seems this was there before until deep sixed by congress in 1994. Seems like it's shinin' some light on them bankers - Lord knows we needs that.

Here's another one that sounds good, from McCain fer Chrissakes:

'Department of Defense Financial Accountability Act of 2009 (Introduced in Senate) S 1287 IS - To provide for the audit of financial statements of the Department of Defense for fiscal year 2017 and fiscal years thereafter, and for other purposes.'

This'n here should go without sayin, crime that we gotta make a law. Keep track of the bombs and all, jeez - oughta be a no brainer.

Now here's one that just confuses me [now don' you go sayin 'well, doh']:

'Administrative Support and Oversight for Community Financial Institutions Act of 2009 (Introduced in House) HR 2676 IH, To amend chapter 3 of title 31, United States Code, to provide for an Assistant Secretary of the Treasury for Community Financial Institutions and an Office of Ombudsman for Community Financial Institutions, and for other purposes.'

Jes don' get that one at all.

Keep up the good work, we needs ya up there.

your pal,

Monday, June 22, 2009

You Tubing

Watch out Barry,

I'm comin after ya.

Made me couple videos, bad lighting, serious nerves, poor resolution and all that, but ya got competition Barry.

Ya gotta be famous to get traction, so here they go. Here's the links if ya promise not to laugh too loud:

Economics 2.0, Dodging Disasters, Part 1

Economics 2.0, Dodging Disasters, Part 2

Here is a link to the video scripts:

Your pal,

Saturday, June 20, 2009

Who's Gonna Make the Loans?

Hey Barry:

So your banker plan leaves them guys with lending, selling stocks and insurance.

OK, I hears you put in a strict regulation that they have to prove they won't go belly up.

But, here's the thing: Who's gonna make loans?

Met a laid off banker veep the other day. Wanna know how she pays the rent now?

She sells partnerships in commercial real estate loans. That's right, she makes the loans the bankers are too busy to make.

We need the loans and we want you to regulate them. But, how's that gonna happen if bankers are too busy with insurance and stocks to diddle with loans?

Am I gonna have to set up a deal with three doctors and a drug dealer to buy a five year old Honda? What the hell.

It's a real question Barry - take a look.

Your pal,

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Banks on Fire

Hey Barry:

Good on ya for the bank plan. Here's the link:

Man, I thought it was never gonna get here.

Couple things, though.

First off, ya gonna want the guys who buy bank stocks watching them banks like hawks. But, Barry, ya got no disclosures in your plan.

Right now, them bankers are like vampires - they only show up in the dark. Ain't good enuf, Barry. Ya gotta shine the lights.

AND, ya gotta watch them bank lobbyists in DC - they'll gut your plans if you let 'em. So, keep on it Barry, or else we'll be here again in couple years.

Don't give an inch - ya gotta be in front drivin on this one. Ya can't just sit in the back seat.

We're countin on ya.

Your pal,

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

The private health industry's time is up

Hey Barry:

Even the Christian Science Monitor supports single payer!

Holy Climolis!

Here's the link:

Bout time we do it the right way.

Whattya say, Barry?

Your pal,

Saturday, June 13, 2009

Stuck With Insurance

Hey Barry:

Guy says we spend here 50% more than world averages on health care and don't get squat for it.

Where does the 50% go?


Guess we're stuck with 'em.


But at least we get a government option, right Barry?

Your pal

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Talk To The Terrorists - It Works

Hey Barry:

So here's an expert who says that we should talk to the terrorists.

What an idea. You were right all along.

His name is John Arquilla and he works for the Navy.

Read it here:

Your pal

Saturday, May 30, 2009

Please, Don't Kill Me - Health Insurance

Hey Barry:

So exactly how does insurance make us better, Barry?

It's a big question because nobody likes insurance companies 'cept some of the crooked ones in Congress.

I goes to the doc and I waits while they checks my card - if I'm lucky enuf to have one - then I fill out a bunch of forms that don't do anything cept cover the insurance's ass, then tell the doc my problem and he says he'll let me know if the insurance will cover it or whether I should go to the ER.

Total time in office one hour, total time with doc, 180 seconds.

If its the ER, we're talkin four to eight hour wait for 180 seconds with the doc.

What the hell is that? It ain't workin, Barry. It just ain't workin.

But, you already know that, right?

Everybody in the country wants single payer, Barry, cept you and the insurance. Even most of the docs want it.

I gotta think ya really want it Barry.

So, are you afraid or are you just waitin?

Ya gotta do this one Barry, ya gotta do this one. Single payer. This is why you're there.

Your pal

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Better Society: $25


A new San Francisco program improves families' lives for $25 a pop.

Read it to believe it:

Friday, May 22, 2009

Guns and Credit Cards

Hey Barry,

What the hell is wrong with them gun guys in DC anyways?

We both know that some folks is gonna die in the parks this summer. Why do ya go to parks anyway? Ya go to get drunk and stoned - ain't nothing else to do. That's the point, ain't it?

So now some of those effin idiots will have a loaded 45 or AK in the tent. Wonnerful.

Might as well stay home with the gang bangers shootin up the town every night. No point in drivin all day to get shot at - do that at home.

Here's a proposition: give me one of the folks who pushed this law and I'll put him in a car in the hood at night with all the guns he wants. See if he's there in the morning.

Anyways, I can dream.

Good deal on the credit cards, even it it costs a life or two. It's worth it. The life's on the banks, anyways.

Your pal

Saturday, May 16, 2009

After Them Banks

Hey Barry:

Good on ya. Some moves on the banks, I read and I like.

Bernanke ups the ante on control - that's good.

Geithner goes after derivatives - that's good even tho Congress has to step up.

But, but...we want a better system Barry.

Think about it - bankers just cannot run investments, Barry. Even you said it: repeating the same action and expecting different results is INSANE.

So, Barry, let's get off the nut express and separate loans from gamblers. Don't know about you, but I don't want my little cash stash managed by gamblers and junkies. A little help here Barry.

Your pal.

Saturday, May 9, 2009

Too Big To Fail - ??

So Barry, I hears lot of gum flappin on the idea that some of them banks are just too big to let go. Well, if some of them banks are too big, then some of the car makers are too big, too. And if they are too big, then what about my cousin's rib joint? Why he's got 100 chairs in that sucker. Course, it's in Detroit, so mebbe he's a goner. No saving cousin Phil, huh Barry?

So riddle me this Barry - just exactly what are the rules about too big to fail, anyway? Where can I read them?

Is it who I know? Or, my skin color? Or, who I pray to??

And, anyway, why not just let them fail, Barry? Sell off the good parts and deep six the bad and there ya go. Been done before.

But, Barry, here's the question: What about the ol' US of A? Are we too big to fail, Barry? What about us?

See, what I'm lookin at is the idea that us workers don't have enuf money to buy shit. We were borrowing, but the payback to them good ol banks runs 30% a year. Screw that.

But, Barry, even I know that if guys like me don't buy stuff, we all done. And, well Barry, I'm damned if I'm goin into hock at 30% any more.

And, Barry, our national credit card to pay for the stimulus, well it's there, ain't it? And it will take a lot of growth to get out of it. Now, growth - it sure as hell ain't comin from me.

So Barry, there's the question: Where in the hell is all this growth comin from?

The only answer I hears is that ya gotta raise all our wages so's we can buy stuff without borrowing at no 30%

Cause, if we don't do that, even the good ol' US of A ain't too big to fail.

Your pal,

Saturday, May 2, 2009

Riverboat Gamblin

Hey Barry:

Who woulda thunk it? Effin amazin.

100 gold plated economists and we get riverboat gamblin.

Trillion here, trillion there, OK. But, we gotta pay for that.

The only ways I sees us payin is old fashion growth. Ya gotta grow us Barry.

You'se lockin us in to a treadmill. The only way it works is if we just keep on growin.

And, ya know what Barry, that's just how the bankers screwed us up. They made their beds so that if things ever stopped goin up, they were screwed. Then we were screwed.

Them econs of yours better start putting in night hours cuz we got no room for mistakes here Barry.

And, God knows it's real easy to make mistakes.

We're with ya, but ya gotta watch it like a hawk.

Your pal,

Saturday, April 25, 2009

100 days

Hey Barry:

Happy Anniversary. Ya doin good so far -keep it up.

Here's my list of good things for the USA you done so far:

Take on the banks, keep it up

Take on the military contractors - God knows them guys need some comeuppance

Start on health care - can't be done soon enough, keep on the pressure.

Good appointments of people who care about regular folks - labor, vets and all

Keep taxes on the fat cats, that's good. And, I think you want the inheritance tax back, keep on that one too

Let the world know that Bush is gone and the Americans are back - mebbe I can take the Canadian flag off my back pack

No more torture - probably should put the guys who were in charge in jail, but at least our boys will be less at risk now

Out of Iraq - but Barry ya gotta do something about Pakistan's nukes

Good start, Barry, good start.

thank you

your pal.

Friday, April 17, 2009

Nancy Calls Out Wall Street

Nancy Pelosi calls out Wall Street for a Pecora style hearing to set new rules of the game.


Go girl!

Friday, April 10, 2009

Painting Roaches

OK Barry

You tired of me about banks, I got it. Just one more cuz it's a holiday.

One of my honeydo jobs is to clear out an old paint shed in the back.

Old, ugly and shaky [the shack Barry, the shack]. Plus it has lots of roaches, termites and rats.

DCON does the rats, but the roaches?

You ever cleaned out roaches Barry? Fun job. First ya gotta find the water source cuz them roaches will eat each other all day long and forever so long as there's water around. One time before this, well them roaches would sun themselves in the moonlight on a bright night, they'd rustle when you walk, scurryin away from your feet.

So I found the water source - leaky pipe under the sink - and it was covered with a big ball of white yuck, no roaches in the day, just the white yuck. Took the sink and the yuck and set that sucker in the bright sunlight and it dried up quick. Ya know what, them roaches just walked away after that. Not so much as a by your leave. Sorry for the neighbors, but what ya gonna do?

Now with the new job I got two choices: clean it up right in the light and all, or paint it over. If I paint it over, the wife won't notice til she sees a roach. Maybe by then I can distract her with a trip to her mother's.

Just a thought Barry. We still got your back. Do the right thing.

your pal.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Bank Fraud; Today!!

Hey Barry:

No time to write, but I can still read.

Check out Bill Moyers on bank fraud at the top:

Money quote;

'BILL MOYERS: Yeah. Are you saying that Timothy Geithner, the Secretary of the Treasury, and others in the administration, with the banks, are engaged in a cover up to keep us from knowing what went wrong?

WILLIAM K. BLACK: Absolutely.........'

Ya gotta rein in these guys Barry, no excuses.

Your pal

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Positively Depressing

Hey Barry:

You lookin' good from down here. Keep workin' those bankers. Hard to believe them guys.

Been quiet from me 'cause the depression just hit and I gotta get a job.

Be back at ya soons I'm workin.

Your pal

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Outside the Banker's Sandbox

OK Barry, we get that you are trying real hard on a whole lotta things. And, we are hearing your guys about the bank mess. Geithner, Summer, Volcker and all. And I gotta tell ya, on this one, it's a real downer, Barry.

Here's what it sounds like: 'Bankers created the mess and we have to give them money to fix the problem. Of course, we can't go outside the box because we are a nation of laws.'

Don't wanna hear that Barry.

I want to hear that you know what the country needs to get things moving and that you will do that, whatever it is. It may involve new laws, new regulations, who knows what all. Ya gotta focus on the end result and not on the process, Barry. All your guys are process people and that ain't gonna work. I read somewhere that the biggest failure in managing companies is to repeat the process when the results are bad. When the results are bad, ya gotta change the process, Barry. Sound familiar?

Maybe you need special emergency powers to suspend normal laws for a little while. This sure as hell is not normal times Barry. What did FDR do?

If I am there the AIG guys are sitting in my office all day every day until we get a solution. I don't take a letter about how hard it is to change an agreement with crooks.

Maybe we need a banking czar to shake up the nest.

The very least you need is someone to think outside the box, Barry. You don't have that now and we are hurting because of it.

I am available to think outside the box, Barry. And, I'm cheap. Don't need no stinking half million dollars to sit around and make ideas, Barry. Call me any time.

Keep thinking like a father and a husband - don't think like a politician.

We're with you Barry - just don't get snowed.

Your pal.

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Bank Regulation Basics

Hey Barry, good to see you on the trail. Keep movin'.

So I sees you got the big ol' dude Volcker to weigh in on the bank mess. At least he's bigger than Timmy.

But, really, 'Financial capitalism has to change,' or somethin' like that is what he says. Like I hear on my street: "No shit, Sherlock."

Anyways I took a look at the system and Holy Crap! it's really been gamed to within an inch.

It's not rocket science to figure out how to fix it. We have done it before and I did it again here:

No, the hard part's when you make the changes. You will hear screamin', boy howdy, them bankers is gonna scream.

But, Barry, we gotta make them changes. There really is no choice.

Your girls' future is on the line here Barry, don't go chicken on us.

We got your back.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Geithner Bombs

Barry, I really love ya. We need you a lot, so keep hangin' in there. Ya doin' all the right stuff.

But Barry, this Geithner guy is not ready for prime time. He is just too small. And, ya need some big guys there Barry, not some limited hack. Seems like a nice enough guy and competent in a limited way, but this here's the future of our country we're talkin' and you need some weight there. Ya need Wilt Chamberlin for cryin' out loud, not some pine warmer.

So, anyways the markets gave the plan a thumbs down and I'm gonna tell ya why.

You guys left out too much, that's why. And here's what you left out.

1. Nationalizing the banks. Ya need to give these bank idiots a timeline to get the lending going. If they don't make it, ya take 'em over, fire the managers and make loans.

I don't mean that you ask them politely for data, I mean that they make loans or get out.

Our national security is on the line here Barry, ya need to get everybody on board.

2. Banks and Investments. Bankers are just no good at making investments. We don't need any more proof, Barry. The Great Depression, the Glass-Steigal act, the Resolution Trust - for cryin' out loud. As sure as God made little green apples, that is something we know.

So, ya gotta create a firewall between bankers and investments. Maybe a new law. Maybe repealing the 1980's deregulation.

Ya gotta do something here and Geithner's not the guy.

3. Unregulated Securities and Banks. Barry, there's a whole bunch of poisonous crap out there and no rules against making more.

Those horse shit mortgage derivative bonds - where's the rule against making more? Nowhere, that's where.

Why the hell not, Barry? Why the hell not?

Unregulated banks - there's a whole bunch of them left over. That can't be Barry, ya gotta get a handle on all the banks. We just can't afford for you to mess this up.

The bankers and the Wall Street guys know they screwed up. And, they expect you to fix it with hard things, not namby-pamby things.

Ya gotta get tough, Barry, we got your back.

Saturday, February 7, 2009

Soup Kitchens and Banks

So Barry, been helluva couple weeks. Hang in there, you're doin' good.

Anyway, couple weeks ago I double dog dared you to mention some things that get my goat. And you did - you talked about jobs, unions, bad food and pay-to-play. If I had any input into that, I thank you.

Now then, things are gettin' worse quick. Listen Barry: we need soup kitchens now. You saw the Denny's free breakfast deal, right? I mean two hour lines for a free breakfast, for Pete'e sake. Ya, we need jobs, but we need to eat too and there ain't no jobs. Ya gotta do something, people are starving out here.

Here's another thing. The only thing you say about banks is that the CEO can't make more than $500K. Gimme a break willya. Holy crap. $500K. Listen here, I'll run a bank for $25K. Here's my qualifications: I know absolutely nothing about running a bank but I am a bookkeeper. Guaranteed to be a better deal than the current crooks and losers.

I'm so pissed about the banks that I'm running a seminar for some local congress people about how to regulate banks. Trying to get FDIC, FED, SEC and all those guys in a room with the field reps.

Subject is this: what went wrong and how do we fix it.

Stay tuned. I'll let you know what happens.

So, Barry, take it easy and be nice to those great girls of yours.

I'm off.

Saturday, January 10, 2009

What's Wrong With the Proposed Stimulus Package

The President Elect, with respect hereafter 'Barry', called for those who are critical of the proposed stimulus package to offer alternatives. In fact, he says that '...if members of Congress have [a] good idea[s]...that is good for the economy, then I'm going to accept it,' Andrew Taylor AP.

OK, here goes:

'Hey, Barry. How ya' doin'. Kinda stressful right now, I feel ya'.

Me, I'm doin' fine, thanks.

So, Barry, look here, ya know I'm not in Congress, but I got some ideas on me here and I'm goin' to lay them on ya'.

And, Barry, I know you won't take these out of my mouth into your new plan, but I think they're kinda cool, so I'm gonna double-dog dare ya to even mention any two of them. Just so's I know you're listening to real folks.

Ya, Barry, it's a double-dog dare.

First off, here's the hole in your plan. Basically it is trying to fix a roach problem in the kitchen by pissing down a rat hole in the yard. Won't hurt, but won't fix the problem anyway.

See, when I go to the grocery and the gas station I learn some things. Here's what I learn. People are really hurting and sending money to rich folks ain't gonna help me buy gas. You feel me?

I got a cousin at the Community College and here's how he puts it: 'The problem was created as a result of the current system and it will not go away until the system is fixed.

Throwing money at the problem does not fix the system. We need it, but it is not enough'

OK, Barry, here's my laundry list of how to fix the system from the bottom where I live.

Jobs - it's great you want to make jobs, but what if all the jobs go to China? Here's the thing, the fat cats make money from jobs in China. So, fix that. Make it so the fat cats make money from jobs in the USA.

Look, right now we have no rules on jobs in international trade, except we think low wages are better than high wages. So, duh, all the jobs go to low wage countries. Go into a Wal-Mart and find something made in the USA. Good luck with that.

We need to do something, but if we do the Chinese will squeal like a stuck pig. I give a rat's ass if they do, but I know you gotta dress it up. Try this: we can buy as much from China as they buy from us, including T-bills. I even wrote a theory around it, you can see it here: Balanced Trade: Toward the Future of Economics, link:

Even my ten year old niece knows you can only buy as much as you make, so we should know that too.

Banks - we thought we learned in the 1930's for cryin' out loud that you can't trust banks with investments. I want my money in a bank to be safe and not gambled away on some cockamamie horse shit. Their job is to lend money; if they don't do that, take away their license.

And, Barry, I have not heard a single word from you about banks. Ya gotta fix that. And, ya gotta do it right and ya gotta do it quick.

Wages - Any fool can see that the rich are getting way too rich and the poor are goin' down the drain. Why are all the screwy investments around anyway? Simple, there is too much money in the hands of rich people and not enough wages paid to working stiffs like me.

Put another way, the balance between capital and wages is out of whack. That's another thing ya gotta fix. And, Barry, alls I hear from you is 'help the middle class' That's all good, but what about me?

Investments - Speaking of investments, what's up with the SEC sayin' they don't understand an investment? That's just unbelievable. Fix it - no please, just fix it.

Unions - Any fool knows that laws protecting unions have been sold out to fat cats. My cousin got fired just because she mentioned that she wanted an election.

The laws are clear - unions are good for working people. So, Barry, ya gotta enforce them or we might as well move to China or India where our jobs are.

Poisons - We all know that a lot of what we eat, drink and use is poisonous. Our stuff is literally killing us. So, Barry ya gotta fix that. Here's a good place to throw money: hire a bunch of lawyers and scientists to test our stuff and put the SOB's in jail who are killing us. It's not rocket science.

Pay-to-Play - Barry, it's funny that you asked for ideas from Congress when we all know that Congress is corrupt at its core. How in the hell do you expect new ideas from that bunch?? They are all part of the system that makes money from the way things are now. Ya gotta change that and you won't change it if you listen to the people who created the problem in the first place.

OK Barry, I gotta go walk the dog - three point five pound chihuahua and a real kick in the ass.

So, it's a double-dog-dare just to mention the real stuff. 'Cause if you don't fix the real stuff you can't fix the economy. And, if you wanna chew on it, just give me a call.'

Copyright January 2009, Mike P.McKeever, email: Contact author for permission to reproduce in whole or part in printed form, permission hereby granted to reproduce in whole or part in any electronic forum.